14 Days In

Well, we are 14 days into the new year and I have not even come close to my refocus goal until this week and even still I'm letting my "schedule" get in the way of exercise. Being a single mom and pretty reliant on my exercise classes instead of doing things on my own, I have not made exercise a priority in these last couple of weeks. I find myself making excuses that I did not make in the last year -- I have felt myself slipping back into old habits. Even with food - eating when I'm not hungry; eating garbage foods - and, lots of it. I felt things slipping away and found myself feeling so tired and grouchy. 

After stepping on the scale Monday night, I saw that I've regained eight (8!!!!) pounds in the last month. I nearly cried. Instead, I pulled my hair into my ponytail and went on to my workout. I think that was the kick in my pants I needed to realize how easy it is to slip back to old habits -- I gave that aqua Zumba workout everything I had. Since Monday, I have tracked everything I've eaten in MyFitnessPal and exercised both Monday and Wednesday. I am realizing that I was once again eating to try to cover up feelings - my anxiety had ramped back up. I can't say that is 100% food related but I am curious about the correlation. 

I have found myself feeling guilty about foods and exercise (or, lack thereof) and I am trying to work through those feelings. I don't want to feel guilty about anything - especially food. I find that if I tell myself I "can't" have something it just makes me want it even more. I have gotten this far with just moderation/counting calories and not totally cutting certain foods out. With that comes elimination of a lot of garbage but most days, I ate really well. This week, I'm back on that thought process. 

On Saturday morning, I hope the scales will reflect the refocusing from this week. If not, I will reevaluate and continue to tweak things to find what works. I am trying to remember how far I've come since this time last year but keeping my eye on my ultimate goal of being at a healthy weight. 

January 2015

January 2016

My goals for the next thirty days: 

1. Log my food and exercise daily 
2. Cardio for 60 minutes, at least, five days per week  
3. Strength training two days per week
4. Lose ten pounds 
5. Continue to find ways to be intentional (2016 word) with my health 

Do you have goals for the next month? 

In 2016 I Purpose to...

A friend on Instagram posted a picture from Ann Voskamp's free printable for SOULutions instead of resolutions. After thinking about her prompts, here's what I came up with. I plan to print out the free printable and hang in my daily vision. I want to surround myself with positive changes for 2016.

I PURPOSE TO: 

Embrace changes

Engage fully

Be still

Believe in the good

Break negative self-talk

Daily prayers and quiet time

Do for others

Let go of past hurts and ideas of how things "should" be

Learn to love again

Live fearlessly 

Give of myself and my time

Grow in grace

What do you purpose to do? I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Been there, done that, working to never be back there again.

Weight loss is all relative - if you have 10 or 200 pounds to loose, it's not an easy task. And we all know that just because you are slim, doesn't mean you are healthy. Exercise and eating healthy are so important to everyone, regardless of your size. That said, if you are sitting there today, with the promises of the new year in front of you and you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of weight you need to lose - know you are not alone. I have been there - heck, I'm still there. Looking at the scale in a doctor's office and wanting to die of humiliation and shame but leaving totally discouraged and hitting the nearest fast food restaurant for the biggest meal they had. Not being able to shop in a regular store - banished to Lane Bryant (and some of their clothes didn't fit) or, online shopping for the most part. I hated looking at pictures of myself and pretty much avoided the mirror from the shoulders down. I could barely walk from the parking garage to my office without being winded. It was not fun - I was depressed, anxious, lonely, and miserable. This is where I started - I'm not sure what my weight was here but goodness how I hate this picture. My little (2nd) cousin was taking the pictures and I didn't want to tell her no - but I wanted no part of this picture.

As I have said in previous posts, in the last year I only sat one set of weight loss goals and I failed with it. I just wanted to see a loss each week when I weighed myself on Saturday mornings. I didn't care if it was two ounces or ten pounds that week - of course, I was more excited/proud with the larger losses. But as long as there was a loss of any kind, I was happy. I was putting in the work and seeing the results. Before, I had looked for quick remedies and ways to lose weight without putting in the work and it never worked. Not to mention, it was (IS!) expensive. Don't get me wrong, eating healthy is not cheap. But, it can be done - even on a budget. As a single mom with no outside help/support, I can provide healthy meals for Monster and I because I choose to make it a priority. We rarely eat out - which saves us a LOT of money. I shop sales, stock up when I can - etc. We eat a lot of frozen veggies in off seasons because its so much cheaper. I also have been mindful on eating only one serving. If it is something we can eat leftovers on (eg. tacos, soups, spaghetti) I cook more but I serve our plates and we do not typically go for seconds. The majority of our plates is veggies and fruit. It has made a huge difference. Before, I would have said I don't have time, money, etc. Which was all just an excuse.

Do I sacrifice some things to make it to the gym? Absolutely but I think it is worth it. Monster has taken an interest in doing the Aqua Fitness classes with me and one of my instructors allows him to exercise with me. He is learning at an early age the importance of exercise and eating well. He notices serving sizes and calories. He knows how to make good choices. Does he get candy, etc.? Absolutely, but he gets a serving size and that's it. He drinks water - and likes it. It is important to me that he knows how to fuel his body. I don't want him to suffer from the same issues that I did as a kid and growing up.

So, if you are sitting there right now and feeling overwhelmed - make one choice today to do better. Tomorrow, add on to that - it's that simple. Baby steps -- but keep stepping. You can do this!! If I can do it - you absolutely can!

Happy New Year!